When Leandra died, Hawke wasn’t mourning her. He was mourning his last chance to piece his family back together after Lothering. After all, Gamlen won’t be any help and Bethany’s death ‘was his fault’…
Hawke thinks that either Varric or Isabela started it but really it was Fenris and Donnic when they were playing diamondback one night.
Cousland does much the same after the Blight ends.